


locking himself in the bathroom

by clearwaterbottle



Category: South Park
Genre: Angst, Body Image, Eating Disorders, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-16 19:02:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21276140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clearwaterbottle/pseuds/clearwaterbottle
Summary: This short story is of Eric growing up. He realizes quickly that he hates him self. The summer before senior year he loses weight and friends. But as long as he has Kyle there to support him then he’ll be alright.





	1. school sucks

**Author's Note:**

> Please do not read if sensitive or looking for ways to do this!! As a dude who has eds, it will destroy your mind and body image. Please find a doctor to find a healthier, more effective way of losing weight!! If you can’t reach a doctor please at least eat and exercise.

Eric isn’t the one to talk about his issues. He’s more like the insult and hide person. But right now he’s just hiding.   
  


Today is the first day of his last year of high school. Although he is excited, he’s quite guarded right now. His old group of ex friends stare at him in amazement. This summer he has lost 80 pounds. His figure is now more curvy than a ball. His 250 lb reign is now 170.   
  


But it doesn’t make him happier. The whole summer he was working 3 part time jobs and not eating. Work, work, work, sleep. Over and over. He passed out at least 7 times this summer. But his mom just brushing it off.  
  


He walks slowly into the building unsure of the old sight. His anxiety at peak. If he was still friends with Stan, Kenny, and Kyle, he would’ve cracked a offensive joke across them. But after an argument and a bloody nose they stopped talking to him. Making Cartman a loner, unable to face the truth that he was never needed in the first place. He glances over to the main trio. They are happy and poking at each other.   
  


They never needed him.   
  


Cartman walks to his first class making his steps slow and quiet. As he walks in he recognizes a few faces: Craig and Butters.

Craig was a big bully at the school. But, he never picked on the stout brunette. They both respected each other and found boundaries. 

Although this is all true he couldn’t help the fact that he hears small whispers including his name, coming from Craig.  
  
He just wants the day to be over already.   
  


As the lunch bell rings Eric finds him self full and unable to even go to the cafeteria. The smell of food wants him to puke. The greasy fat and the smell of defrosted meat cooking just irks him in ways unimaginable to the unrelating. 

He also can’t face his old comrades smiling and being cheery. It just reminds him of how nobody needs him in their life. 

He finds him self speed walking to the bathroom ready for his afternoon puking session. He ate this morning. And it still isn’t settling quite right for the boy.   
  


As soon as he locked the stall door, he collapsed in on the familiar white bowl. His friend and enemy in one. His savior. His fingers find their way shoving down his bruise covered throat. The brunette finds the feeling of his fingernails scraping across his uvula comforting. The sound of retching echoes along the walls of the small bathroom. 

Suddenly the hot tears produced from the puking becomes much more emotional and muffling his sobbing is now the only thing on his mind.  
  


  
  


He rises slowly and grabs his backpack. The final bell rings telling them to get out and go some where else. Eric stumbles out Of his class to go to his after school job. He works at the local WacDonalds, making his hate for food even stronger.   
  
  


  
  


As he finishes putting on his hat he hears the costumers yell in delight. He rushes to the cashier, as he is the only employee in the building trusted to handle money.   
  


To no surprise he sees his worse fear waltz in, the ex’s.

The trio is accompanied by Clyde, Craig, Butters and Tweek.

Although Cartman expected this to happen at one point he never really wanted it to actually to commence.   
  


The eyes of his costumers become wide as they realize who’s going to be taking their order.   
  


Kyles eyes full of disgust and anger. Stan face concerned and unable to tilt in his direction. Kenny pulls on his strings on his parka to hide more.   
  


“Hi welcome to WacDonalds how may I help you?”


	2. coward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eric gets off work and finds that Kyle wants to work things out between them.

“Will that be all?” Cartman says in a sickly sweet tone.

“Yeah,” Butters smiles back.

“Your total will be 24.17!” He smiles back a small but real smile.

Eric stares at his old friends leave the register. If he could he would stare at them all day and find ways to apologize. But the small impatient girl with a pink headband snatches his attention.

“Hello how c-“ “I WANT A JOY MEAL!! WITH PONIES AND SMALL WINGS!!”

He hangs up the xxL apron and walks back to the entrance.  
His new red jacket tightly wrapping around him, his backpack hugging his back. The jacket looks a lot like his old one but is actually his size and keeps him warmer.

“Are you just going to stand there or are you going to move aside for the woman?” Kyles now deeper voice growls. He is right there is a woman now trying to find a polite way of asking him to move.

“Sorry ma’am,” he quickly shuffles to the side.  
“Not even gonna question why I am out side of your work place?” Kyle snickers.

“Was I supposed to? I’m sorry,” Eric turns to face the redhead.

“You, sorry?! You’ve got to be kidding me!” The Jewish boy smiles.

“Oh,” Eric slowly backs away, “I don’t want trouble dude.” 

“I’m here to talk not to fight you like last time,” his smile quickly dropping. “Though last time we did beat each other up pretty bad.”

“Sorry about that,” Cartman rubs the back of his neck.

“Heh I kinda deserved it,” he chuckles. “But like I said I’m not here to torment you.”

“O-okay,” the brunette shudders scarred, “Should we go somewhere?” 

“How about your house? Your mom should be out whoring any way!” He bellows out a laugh.

“Yeah...” he tries to find the joke funny. It’s not as funny when it’s true.

They walk back to the Cartman Household in awkward silence. 

“WOAH YOUR ROOM IS SO DIFFERENT!!” Kyle jumps onto Eric’s new bed.

“Mhm,” the small gesture almost unheard.

The brunette takes off his coat and pulls down his back pack.  
The redhead staring shamelessly at the other boy.  
“You got skinnier.” The Jew exclaims.

“Yeah.” Cartman softly adds.

“And you’ve changed a lot. Like aloooot!” The smaller boy smiles.

“Is that good or bad?” Eric self consciously asks while sitting at his new desk chair.

“I don’t know,” The lanky, freckled boy thinks. 

“Oh ok,” the chubby, now quiet boy turns back to his new desk.

Moments of silence pass as Kyle intensely stares at the nervous Cartman.

“Wanna be friends agian?” The redhead politely asks.

“Yes,” The brunette quickly replies, still not turning around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so pumped for the next chapter y’all don’t even know!


	3. oh yeah it’s all coming together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They talk about stuff and Kyle realizes how fucked Eric’s mind actually is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof

“So, what have you done over the summer?” Eric grins while finishing his the first of his homework.

“Oh well my brother and I went over to a Hebrew camp to learn about Jewish culture and also to learn a bit about the Torah. Besides that not too much, what about you?” The Redhead smiles such a wonderful smile.

“Work,” Cartman blandly states.

“Oh, that’s all? No camp, no parties, no nothing?” Kyle’s jaw drops.

“Yeah,” The chubby boy mumbles. 

“Ok fuck this,” Kyle stood up. 

“What happened d-“WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?!?! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?!??”

“What are you talking about?” The hazel eyed boy asks.

“DONT ‘wHat arE yOu TAlkiNg aBoUt’ ME! YOU LOSE A SHIT TON OF WEIGHT; YOU BECOME QUIET AND YOU NOW CANT EVEN LOOK MY IN THE EYE?!?!” Kyle rages.

“Sorry...” the shorter boy squeaks.

“THATS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT!!” Kyles face now red and threatening to burst with tears. “WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CARTMAN CALLING ME OVER TO HAVE SLEEPOVERS?!! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CONFIDENCE?!? WHAT HAPPENED?!?” 

“Eric please tell me what happened.” 

Cartman looks up. Kyle never says his first name unless he is serious.

“After our fight I was angry,” Eric grumbles. “At myself. Over time I just started to punish myself for making you guys so upset.”

The redhead boy takes Cartmans hand and leads him to the bed. After Kyle laying down Cartman finds his head on top of Kyles chest.  
He adjusts himself so that he can lay in between the jew’s hips.

“How did you hurt yourself?” Kyles voice now soft and caring. The redheads hands weaving through Cartmans hair, petting him.

“How do I know this isn’t a trick?” Is the only thing Cartman could produce.

“Do you trust me, Eric?”

“Yeah? Kind of why?”

“That should be enough. I promise I won’t tell Kenny or Stan.” 

“Okay.”

After a couple of deep breaths and letting his heart rate steady, he speaks

“I stopped eating much. If I did I would just throw myself into the bathroom and puke it up. It never enough though. It’s like I have to keep doing this to make up all the pain that I caused you guys onto me.” Eric heaves through tight breaths.  
“Sorry again. About the fight. I really am.”

“Hm,” Kyles response cold and now sharp edged.

“Sorr-“Say sorry again and I’ll kick your ass. I should be the one apologizing. I was and am an ass. And trust me, the guys don’t hate you, they just are finding a way to come to good terms with you. If they seemed weird today it was because they didn’t want to come off as too desperate. But in all reality we miss you very much. Now stop saying sorry.”

“Really?” Cartmans eyes shine.

“Really really,” Kyle smiles at the boy cuddling him, head on his chest.

“Can we stay like this a bit longer?” The brunette questions, hugging the redhead closer.

“Tomorrow is Saturday, we can stay like this all night.” Kyle chuckles softly.

“Then can we?” 

“Of course!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to keep going but in the end y’all got your Kyman and they both get a happy ending. Win win :)


End file.
